You sitting there in front of me, your eyes pricking in my eyes, talking about the most normal things, but still does it feel different with you. It is weird how we can have conversations about things that bother not either one of us. It doesn’t matter where we talk about if it is just us, together. How you look at me, your smile, your eyes and your weird faces. I feel safe with you.
I am wondering if it will ever get different than it is now. If we ever will be more than only classmates. Something more than just ‘train’ friends. I don’t know whether I am more than other girls or not for you. You seem to be relaxed with them around you too. Do you feel different with me?
When we are with other people, we just need one look at eachother, to understand what we mean. We can have so much fun, while nobody else understand us. A joint friend asked why we always sit in front of her, next to eachother, in the train. I don’t know, but feeling your arm, leg or even your shoe against mine, can give me a such a good feeling. That feeling is indescribable.
Is it normal to feel that kind of things for a friend? I don’t think so, for me you are more than that. It is even more for me than a good friend.
I don’t have experiences with guys in this way. I am not even having experiences with love at all. I never had a boyfriend or girlfriend. To be honest, I never felt the ‘need’ of someone like that in my life. And now I am just wondering if I am good enough to be loved in that way.
Will there ever be someone that will love me, just like I am?