Hi Sour Mats!
I’m a jealous person and I know that I’m. I don’t want to be jealous at all, because I think that it’s difficult to handle jealousy. When you’re really jealous, you don’t always allow other people to have fun. And I want the opposite, people do need to have pleasure in life. As a jealous person, I sometimes do forget that also the people that seems to have the perfect life, have difficulties in their ‘perfect life’.
“Jealous: upset and angry because someone that you love seems interested in another person.”(source)
My life isn’t that perfect as it may sounds, but I think that counts for almost everyone. We all do have those things we love to cover instead of show it to everyone. One of those things for me is jealousy. I’m not proud about it, I hate it. Being friends is not an easy thing for me, because when I have friends, I want them to be mine. Something I don’t want to express.
There is that boy (I should stop talking about him, don’t you think so?) and I don’t know, but we can have a lot of fun together. Something I really like. He’s a really social boy and that is something I can learn a lot of, because I’m having troubles with social situations. But for me it’s not always that easy. He can have fun really easy with everyone, so sometimes he’s having so much fun with he groupmates when I’m just trying to get a word out of my own groupmates. His group seems to work very easy together, while I’m pulling three dead horses (is that a real Dutch saying?).
I do love to be a leader and help people where they need help, but I’m done working for four, whIle the rest is doing nearby nothing. I have to remember them to deadlines and help them with writing reports. The study I’m doing now, isn’t easy for me, so I do need the time for other subjects. I’m working hard and I won’t stop doing that, but I would love some help.
Looking to him and his group makes me jealous. I would love to be one of them and just work so relaxed together. But I do have to go through this and stop making a point of it. I have to make the best of it.